candy, you funny

for eastertime, sour patch kids have been turned into sour patch jelly beans.  the package lists four flavors: lemon, lime, orange, and redberry.  i have checked: redberry is not a fruit, vegetable, meat, dairy, or grain.  in fact, as far as i can tell, redberries only exist as china’s rip-off of the blackberry.  but i will tell you this much:  if redberries really are phones, then i like to eat phones.  these little beans are DEELISHUS.

in general, sour candy is one of my favorite things ever.  i really like chewy candy, as evidenced by my love for milk duds and gummy bears (and that one time that i went to the dentist in high school and had 17 cavities.  i am a very regular brusher and flosser, but i am genetically predisposed to weak enamel, ok?)  i’ve tried almost every single sour candy on the market, including sour frozen treats, and have found that most sour candies are barely sour at all.  but my favorites are, in order:

  • sour jelly belly jelly beans
  • shockers
  • sour straws (strawberry flavor, but i’m not picky if you’re gifting them to me)
  • sour starbursts
  • sour peaches (you have to be careful with these – the sour ones look the same as the non-sour ones, and if you want to pucker but get stuck with plane jane regular, you WILL cry.  also, i am not talking about peach RINGS.  those are different and they are disgusting.)
  • sour patch kids/jelly beans
  • sour skittles
  • sour nerds

i also like my alcoholic beverages sour, i like grapefruits for breakfast, and i generally believe that the vast majority of good food is only improved when one adds citrus zest or fresh citrus juice. in case you were curious, i don’t have scurvy. 

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4 responses to “candy, you funny

  1. i vote yes to your blog, and i vote sour punch straws with all the fervor of my being. amen.

  2. dude you should totes read “Candyfreak” by Steve Almond. It’s so good.

  3. that baby’s has awesome-face!

  4. Pingback: Sour candy, FSM, and mah weave « Overshare

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