license plates: a peek into your soul?

I’m not personally a fan of vanity plates because I think they’re stupid and I don’t need a better reason than that because it’s my own damn inconsequential opinion.

But the cool thing about “specialty plates” is that they don’t follow the same ABC 123 format as standard-issue and so silly innuendo spelling is just BOUND to happen!  And I happen to believe in a world of magic where these “silly innuendos” are not simply coincidence, but FATE.

The night before my “share the road” plates showed up, I was watching SNL digital shorts in an effort to satisfy my hunger for more “I’m on a Boat”-style goodness.  I happened across one that didn’t strike me as l.o.l. funny (remember when laugh out loud meant something in a sentence???), but I definitely LQTM (you know… laughed quietly to myself) from the comfort of my bed.  ‘Twas the video entitled “Ras Trent”, wherein Andy Samberg plays a poser Rastafarian (not poser ‘cuz he’s white.  poser ‘cuz he’s a tool.  at least that’s what the video wants you to believe.) and sings about “ja” which Mr. Samberg teaches us, with his infinite wisdom, means God in “Rasta.”

So you can imagine how eternally endeared I then felt when my plates showed up with the random selection of four letters reading DR JA.  That’s right.  I’m a doctor.  A doctor of Rasta, apparently…  And nobody can ever take that away from me!

My mom taught me a long time ago that when you own a car, you’re supposed to throw up gang signs at people who are driving the same kind of car as you.  It’s fun!  But there’s room for more camaraderie in the world, my friends (just ask John McCain!), and so I’ve also started throwing up friendly gang signs at fellow “share the road” plates.  And world, I have an announcement to make: I have found my new favorite.

No, it’s not ASSMAN.  But you’re getting warmer!

It’s “DRBM.”  That’s right.  Dr. BM.  Does that mean Dr. Bowel Movement?  If it is, that’s hillarious and I want to invite that person to every social event I ever attend for the rest of my life because, I mean, c’mon… the jokes would be off the CHAIN.  Does it mean Dr. Bloody Mary?  If so, I want to be the lead nurse in their practice.  Maybe even their lab rat.  But wait, I’m already a doctor… Just think!  What a blessed union of doctors it could be!  Dr. Ja and Dr. Bowel Movement/Bloody Mary!  We’ve got Religion!  Internal medicine!  And a bar!  Who WOULDN’T utilize our services???


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