why I hate the suburbs

I’m trying to not eat junk food for a whole month.  IT SUCKS.  In an effort to fight my urges to break my promise on an hourly basis, I’m also trying to go to the gym more often.  And damn am I glad I am!  Well, aside from hurting EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME, I am glad I’m going.  Why?  Not for my physique, no no no.  For the QUOTES!

I was in the locker room changing into my you-wouldn’t-even-DARE-check-me-out-in-this-ragged-attire get-up when two super overly-enthusiastic short suburbanites wander in, totally pumped on FITNESS!  YEAH!  And of course, they then have a very suburban conversation that went exactly like this:

Fitness addict A: Where’s this sushi place we’re going?
Fitness addict B: 24th and Broadway – right on the edge of Chinatown.
A: Cool!  How’d you hear about it??
B: Well, my friend’s mom is Asian, so she LOVES sushi!

Fucking idiot whores.  FIRST of all, 24th and Broadway is across the river and nowhere NEAR Chinatown.  Bitches better whip out their GPS machines when they get into their sweet rides, otherwise they’re gonna be hungry for dayyyyyyys.  SECOND of all, like this even needs to be said, friend’s mom is ASIAN???  Didn’t Miley Cyrus get some $97235907246097 billion lawsuit for being that ignorant?


You know what I want?  I want a law that permits citizens arrest for people who embarrass the human race.  Then the perpetrator of stupid has to go to SKOOL and learn about the world outside of their little “safe” life.  I’m writing a letter to Santa about this RIGHT NOW.


One response to “why I hate the suburbs

  1. I hear this type of conversation all the time dude! It kills me a little each day.

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