I hold this truth to be self-evident:
There are very few things that four Tylenol extra strength caplets won’t cure.
Maybe you think that’s a lot of Tylenol, but when you go through high school playing water polo and getting your pubes ripped out, your nipples twisted, and just generally fighting angry women who are trying to drown you as a form of “defense” (as taught to you by your super-talented coach, because while mean girls we may naturally be, we ladies are not intuitively barbaric), you develop a tolerance to Tylenol. Taking just two caplets will no longer suffice.
Even though it has been eight years since I played in high school (seven since college), and goodness knows I’ve had more hangovers, broken more toes, had more colds and flues, and generally ached and experienced pain, my tolerance level never caught up. And so I can still say with confidence that four caplets of Tylenol extra strength officially does the trick nine times out of ten. For that one other time, I find that when I pop my collar instead of pills, everything is made right again.