Goal for Today

I came to work today in a good mood but had to fight a first-of-the-day experience of minor frustration.  As a person who is willing to cop to being an over-indulgent “gmail chat status updater”, I can say that I was tempted to tell the “world” (aka my three friends who care… ok, are bored enough…) something inane about my annoyance with the daily re-routing of traffic that causes my commute to work to be constantly inefficient.  Everyday, I try to anticipate which street/lane will be closed, how many construction people will yell at me, and how loud I’ll need to have my music so as to be able to convincingly act like I can’t hear them.  Every day I am wrong.  Um, yes, sir?  I’d like to trade in my intuition.  It seems to be broken.  Thanks.

When I tried to think about what I would have to say about today’s asshole construction folks and their stupid-ass cones, nothing came to me.  I quickly realized IT DIDN’T FUCKING MATTER.  I wasn’t in a bad mood.  I didn’t care.  It’s just fucking construction.  Nobody ate my cheese.  So instead, since the status DID need to be updated as yesterday’s update no longer applied, I decided to default to goals.  Specifically, I wanted to have a goal for personal accomplishment that would be so irrefutably achievable that I would be hard-pressed NOT to meet it, and, at the end of the day, having met the goal, I would instantly be a success.  And so the goal was set: DON’T SHART.  Erin immediately noticed.

Erin: dude.  good goal.
me: I know, right???  I don’t even feel one coming on.
Erin: Lately, I have almost sharted several times, and I did for sure once.  I don’t give a fuck.  I am an adult and ok with the fact that adults poop their pants occasionally.

Erin’s goal: Forget I sharted.

It all started reminding me of a gas station my cousin and sister and I stopped at in Wichita a couple weeks ago.  No really… this is their logo:

kdk_0317

Melissa perks up now, too.  She knows the importance of teamwork, and solidarity will get you everywhere in the world you’d ever want to go.  Melissa’s goal:  Just SHART.

Ahhhh yes.  It’s FRIDAY.  I could almost listen to some disco right now.  THAT’S how good today is going.  I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if this gets watched over the weekend:

shart

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One response to “Goal for Today

  1. Explaination: I ate Taco Bell last night and it has the oppisite effect on me, I want something to move. I am prepared for sharting.

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