I came to work today in a good mood but had to fight a first-of-the-day experience of minor frustration. As a person who is willing to cop to being an over-indulgent “gmail chat status updater”, I can say that I was tempted to tell the “world” (aka my three friends who care… ok, are bored enough…) something inane about my annoyance with the daily re-routing of traffic that causes my commute to work to be constantly inefficient. Everyday, I try to anticipate which street/lane will be closed, how many construction people will yell at me, and how loud I’ll need to have my music so as to be able to convincingly act like I can’t hear them. Every day I am wrong. Um, yes, sir? I’d like to trade in my intuition. It seems to be broken. Thanks.
When I tried to think about what I would have to say about today’s asshole construction folks and their stupid-ass cones, nothing came to me. I quickly realized IT DIDN’T FUCKING MATTER. I wasn’t in a bad mood. I didn’t care. It’s just fucking construction. Nobody ate my cheese. So instead, since the status DID need to be updated as yesterday’s update no longer applied, I decided to default to goals. Specifically, I wanted to have a goal for personal accomplishment that would be so irrefutably achievable that I would be hard-pressed NOT to meet it, and, at the end of the day, having met the goal, I would instantly be a success. And so the goal was set: DON’T SHART. Erin immediately noticed.
Erin: dude. good goal.
me: I know, right??? I don’t even feel one coming on.
Erin: Lately, I have almost sharted several times, and I did for sure once. I don’t give a fuck. I am an adult and ok with the fact that adults poop their pants occasionally.
Erin’s goal: Forget I sharted.
It all started reminding me of a gas station my cousin and sister and I stopped at in Wichita a couple weeks ago. No really… this is their logo:
Melissa perks up now, too. She knows the importance of teamwork, and solidarity will get you everywhere in the world you’d ever want to go. Melissa’s goal: Just SHART.
Ahhhh yes. It’s FRIDAY. I could almost listen to some disco right now. THAT’S how good today is going. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if this gets watched over the weekend: