Ok, this is definitely the most narcissistic post I have ever authored, but I just need to do this because I think it’s hilarious!
I don’t know about your blog, but my blog tracks stats. This is how I know with some precision that I have about two faithful readers. Now this isn’t to say that I don’t get a lot of hits daily on my blog – quite the contrary! But WordPress is a bunch of geeks, I tell ya, and they tell me how people are coming to my site.
Number 1 reason? Magnum fuckin’ P.I. I could not for the LIFE of me figure out why my readership was getting so wack-ass recently – and then the day after Halloween happened. And it’s been blog life as usual ever since.
But my two new favorite reasons for visiting showed up today: one guy was google searching “once again sucking a teat“. I have absolutely no idea where that search took him on the internet, let alone how it got my blog tangled up in that mess! And what’s with the “Once again”??? Did googling “Sucking a teat” not garner enough initial results??? Was the addition of “once again” all he’d hoped it would be??? Who knows.
The other guy? Well… the other guy googled “fuck that whore.” And truthfully, I want to know which one of my blogs that search didn’t take him to. But really. I don’t have porn on here, kids. It’s just not my steez. But you know what I do have? Colorful ladies smoking huge cigars. Cuz it looks cool!
If I needed a grandma, I’d totally recruit this lady. She seems rad.