I am trying to make a mixtape of classical songs for some friends. In an effort to make sure and include some otherwise-forgotten gems, I turned first to the “genre-sort” function in iTunes. Found some good stuff in “choral” and “chanson,” but shit got CRAZY when we got to “classical”. First on the list: Ace of Base – Don’t Turn Around.
Are you kidding me??? How the heck did that even happen on accident???
Ok, but then get this… next up is PAULA ABDUL – FOREVER YOUR GIRL
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING. WHAT THE SHIT. This is some straight-up HACKER shit.
Other super WTF songs to make it into this category were Laurie Anderson – O Superman and TLC – What About Your Friends. What about them? Well, T-Boz, Lisa “Left Eye” and “Chilli,” my friends are great. And so are you. But classical you are not. You might want to talk to someone about that.
But then I discover that there’s a genre called “controlled demolitions.” Guess what’s there. Just guess. Yah. BEYONCE – HALO. Yeah, I have that song. What? IT’S KINDA PRETTY. YOUR MOM PROBABLY WAS, TOO, BEFORE SHE POPPED YOU OUT.
And THEN! I realized I had music under the “native american” genre. Mom, have you been sending me mp3s and I forgot about it? Nope. Upon closer inspection, the “native american” song I have is Short Skirt, Long Jacket by Cake. Wow, iTunes. You’re just WRONG about that. But thanks for bringing me back to sophomore year of high school for a second. It had been a while.
Thanks for tuning in for another episode of “overshare.” Here’s a video for all your dedication.