Imma let you finish but…

I just heard my first Taylor Swift song. 

WTF is that shit????  It’s like the Disney Channel on steroids.  Ugh.  It really started my day off WRONG.

I walked into work and asked a very simple question:  “Is Brazilian [a nickname, not a nationality] in this week?”  Blahblah, in classic blahblah fashion, had a response somewhat akin to “Oh yes, Brazilian is here.  Well, not right now.  Right now they are… well, let’s see here, they are out, but they’re going to be back around noon, but it might be more like two, but definitely sometime today.  Yep.  Brazillian is here.  Gosh, now what are they out for?  I think it’s for…”

OH MY GOD STOP.  JUST STOP.  THEY ARE NOT GONE THIS WEEK.  THAT IS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW.  STOP TALKING.  DEAR SWEET JESUS PLEASE.  I DON’T CARE WHERE THEY ARE.  I DON’T CARE WHY THEY AREN’T HERE AT THIS EXACT MOMENT.  IF I DID, THAT WOULD BE MY FOLLOW-UP QUESTION.  BUT YOU WON’T EVEN LET ME GET TO THE FOLLOW-UP QUESTION BECAUSE YOU ARE SO BUSY TRYING TO ENGAGE ME IN A CONVERSATION I’M NOT TRYING TO HAVE.

Then, I get to the “refuge” of my notffice (this is sarcasm.  Having no door, one’s notffice is rarely comparable to a ‘refuge’.) and overhear “Have you ever seen Henry V?”

Um, seen.  Right.  Yes.  Kenneth Branagh, right?  HOW ABOUT READ?  I’d like to think that I work in a place that reads the books, not just sees the film adaptations… and I know that I do… but today just had to fuck with me like that… oh today, what is your deal, man??

Ugh.  I swear, I woke up in an amazing mood.  Was dancing around the house and everything.  You can blame all my crankies on Taylor Swift.  I’m starting to want a swig of Kanye’s Hennessey. 

In other news, Ben just told me he farts at work sometimes.  He also told me not to tell.  But I overshare (it’s kind of my gig).  Ben writes a blog, too.  It’s really good.  You should check it out!  I don’t know for sure, but I’d be surprised to learn that Ben didn’t feel similarly about Taylor Swift.

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