I think I’m going to try to start a new series of musings. Basically, it’s going to be me (obvi) calling people (not me. doi.) out on doing dumb shit on social networking sites. As long as we’re clear, I am referring only to Facebook and Twitter so far. But you never know what the future holds (right, Doc??)!
So here is one way to NOT get people thinking you’re interesting:
Twitter/FB update – I am somewhere boring, doing something boring. And I’m bored. Awesome.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT PEOPLE TO DO WITH THAT??? Respond with “oh man. yeah. TOTES. I’ve had to do that boring thing before, too, and it’s boring.”?? What would be the point of that?? If you’ve already acknowledged that it’s boring, why would you want to hear other people’s stories of your boring activity? Honestly… that’s like exchanging war stories about your most uneventful day ever. WHO DOES THAT??? NOBODY. THAT’S WHO. CUZ IT’S BORING.
On the flip side, if you don’t want to hear people’s “war stories,” what the fuck DO you want to get as feedback to your mind numbing update??? A retweet? A “like”? WELL YOU AREN’T GONNA GET IT. BECAUSE YOU JUST WASTED TIME – MY TIME – MAKING ME READ IT ONCE. DON’T GO THINKING I’M GONNA SUBJECT OTHERS TO YOUR SAME TORTURE. Honestly, people. There’s an app for this boredom. It’s called READING. Most boring places at least have newspapers and stuff. Sheesh.
When I get stuck in boring situations, I like to try and think of the most mythical creature that’s ever been thought of coming to rescue me, and then think of adventures we would have together. Or, even something real-ish like this…
I mean, seriously… if this Mongolian riding a woolly mini pony with a GIANT PREDATORY BIRD trotted up next to me while I was doing something boring and was like “BITCH, GET ON MY BITTY STEED OF MIGHT AND LET’S RIDE!” I’d be all “HOKAAAAAY!” and it would be AWESOME! You know I’m right about this.