Dear Captainess of Clan Crawford*,
I told people about your gig at the supermax tonight and the dude who hacked off his ween for funsies, which apparently is par for the course at supermaxes in Tey-hahs. I honestly don’t think they fully believed me. I guess it’s kind of a weird story, no matter what, but… I have a question: Why is Texas so… um… different?
I feel like if Texas were a picture, it’d kinda look like this:
Well, I guess that’s it for now, Mz. Tayhas. Love you and stay away from the prison moonshine and shivs (they’re bad for you).
Mlle. von Funk